Ranting about Relationships.. Pt 1

So I was having a Skype conversation with one of my closest friends today and we were having a conversation about relationships and guys etc etc. And she inspired me with the idea for this quote...

A guy should not CHANGE you as a person but ENHANCE you as a woman

Now, let me tell you what I mean by this. An unknown author (sorry just randomly found this quote somewhere) once said Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. That being said, why do certain relationships do the complete opposite. Now, I'm probably the least experienced person when it comes to being in a relationship, but as an outsider and friend I observe and hear a lot about relationships. I know enough to know that the relationship between a man and a woman differs from that between a mother and son or a teacher and pupil. The main difference? There is no SUPERIOR! Neither person in the relationship is more advanced than the other. Unless you are psychic or are a character from the TV show FlashForward, you are going into the relationship as blindly as the other person is. It doesn't matter how many previous relationships you've had. I don't give a flying monkey!

Now back to my main purpose of this post. I don't understand relationships where someone is being told what to do. For example, "you can't wear that", "you can't be friends with her", or "where do you think you're going?" What the hell is this? I do not care how much you love this person, but unless he/she gave birth to you, they should not be telling you how to live your life. How can you let someone else tell you how to be yourself? WTF. That makes no sense. And if you honestly believe that your partner knows you better than you know yourself, then you are either insecure, stupid or you have been highly manipulated in this fantastic relationship of yours. I'm just saying. And yes, I know that when you are with someone that you truly love and care about you feel a difference (please note, a DIFFERENCE, not DIFFERENT). You can say you feel complete, or whatever it is music lyrics say these days, but in one word you feel ENHANCED. Like a better version of yourself. An upgrade. You are still yourself, but with a clearer mind. Maybe more positive. Whatever. But you are not a completely different person to the single-status version of you.

Fine Example: "I don't rave anymore". There's many possible reasons to this, such as "I've grown out of it" or "its the same shit, different toilet". What I don't want to hear is "cause my man don't want me to." WTF is this? When did we regress back to secondary school? Does this mean that being in a relationship also means sacrificing the rest of our social life? In the worst case scenario, the girlfriend that demands that you can't be friends with Tyrone anymore, may be the same woman that in 4 years time with your ring on her finger demands that you can't be involved with your family anymore. Once you become victim to these things and accept it, you are only welcoming it to come back with more strength. Or am I talking utter crap, right now. Let me know.

I'm gonna stop now before I go off topic. Let me just say, a main ingredient in a healthy relationship is trust and respect, we need to remember to both give and receive this. Before I go let me leave you with a quote by Leo Buscaglia....

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade